


A Day in the Life of Seivarden

by NotWritingSavvy



Category: Imperial Radch Series - Ann Leckie
Genre: F/F, Other, Post-Canon, Self-indulgent fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-06-01 22:57:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6540034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotWritingSavvy/pseuds/NotWritingSavvy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or: In which Ship gets a new ancillary</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Day in the Life of Seivarden

Seivarden Vendaai woke up slowly, and then she was alert, a haze of exhaustion still tugging at her limbs. In her experience, it was hard to have a slow awakening when someone’s fist was suddenly jammed in her throat. If it was a common experience, Seivarden wouldn’t know. Nor would she care. She took a second to collect herself, and slowly moved backwards. No help, as instead of staying where it was, the fist just grasped her throat. Fortunately, its owner wasn’t squeezing, but it still was alarming. Even if she wasn’t in danger (and she wasn’t certain that she wasn’t), the whole situation was very improper.

"Do you want me to wake the Fleet Captain up?" Ship asked through the wall console.

Seivarden knew that it could see her annoyance as she replied, yes, with a twitch of her fingers. She breathed shallowly, her cheeks burning as she gingerly tried to remove Breq’s hand from her neck while Ship worked to wake Breq up. She worried at her lip in an attempt to distract her mind from the task, and Ship scrolled a pointed stream of words on the edge of her vision. Seivarden ignored Ship’s admonishments at her self-harming actions, and gasped when Breq finally removed her hand. 

“My apologies,” she said calmly. She tilted Seivarden’s head up, and looked at her throat as Ship brightened the lights. Seivarden swallowed hard, trying not to look too affected by what Breq was doing. Not that she would notice. Breq let go and Seivarden sat up, muffling a yawn with the back of her hand and waiting for her head to stop spinning. She wanted to go back to sleep. Also…

“I want tea,” she informed Breq.

“That’s nice,” Breq replied, getting off of the mat they shared.

Seivarden watched her attach her prosthetic (was it the fourth or the fifth?) for a heartbeat, then asked Ship, “Tea?” Breq quietly hummed her agreement, which crescendoed into a quiet song.

Seivarden stared at the wall as Breq began dressing herself, idly scratching at the tab on her neck. Why was she already awake? It was her shift off, and even if she hadn’t realized that she had had a shift today, it seemed unreasonably early. Out of the corner of her vision, the time read an hour earlier than she usually woke up, but a quick inquiry to Ship confirmed the timing as correct. She groaned and rolled off of the bed mat and onto the cold floor, already mourning the loss of the blanket’s warmth. Should she wait for a soldier to dress her or not? She wrestled an undershirt over her head and slipped on a pair of pants seconds before Kalr Five opened the door and entered the room. 

Kalr Five placed a gold and scarlet teapot on an empty shelf, poured two cups of tea, and retreated to a patch of the wall next to the door. Seivarden yawned again and cracked her neck before taking the cup. The tea was perfectly warm, as she had come to expect from Kalr Five, but too sweet to have been a caffeine-infused blend. Somewhere behind her, Breq was thanking Kalr Five and taking the other cup. Ship brightened the lights further, to the normal ‘daylight’ levels. 

She was forgetting something. What was it? Ship. Daylight, Athoek. The doctor, right. That’s why she was up earlier than usual, the doctor from Athoek was arriving because Ship’s Medic had refused to perform the ancillary’s operation. 

“Is the doctor here?” Seivarden asked Breq, turning around so that she could see her. 

Breq shook her head, distracted. Presumably talking with Ship or looking in on a soldier. Seivarden hoped that it wasn’t her, but there wasn’t anything that she could do about it. 

_The Fleet Captain isn’t looking in on you, Lieutenant,_ Ship said in Seivarden’s ear. Seivarden felt herself relax slightly. Now she is.

Seivarden tried to be annoyed by her lack of privacy, but couldn’t be. It was what it was, and Breq knew her well enough that Seivarden wasn’t embarrassed. She sipped her tea. 

“Kalr Five, are you feeling quite alright?” Breq asked suddenly. 

Kalr Five straightened her back, and nodded sharply. Seivarden heard Breq exhale softly. Annoyance. “Breakfast, sir?” Kalr Five asked.

Seivarden was so hungry, she could have happily had skel. Fortunately, she was a lieutenant and not a common soldier, so she could have actual food that wasn’t grown on-ship, but still. She was about to reply when Breq said, “No, thank you. The shuttle will be arriving in five minutes, and we need to meet the doctor.”

Seivarden shut her eyes, inhaled, and exhaled slowly through her nose. She only opened her eyes after Kalr Five had finished putting on her boots and arranging her clothes. Why did Breq have to be like this? Breq walked past her, and Seivarden followed, Kalr Five slightly behind her. She did look unusually harried today. Her hair was partially out of her bun, but that might just have been because of the poor quality hair band she used. She blinked when she looked back at Kalr Five and found her staring back, a silent accusation in the tilt of her face. They arrived a few minutes before the Athoek shuttle arrived, during which Breq debriefed Seivarden and Kalr Five on what was about to happen. 

“Ship will be distracted while the ancillary is in the process of being connected, and so Tisarwat and five of her Bos will be on watch as well as Amaat One and Kalr Six.”

“Why will Ship be distracted?” Seivarden asked. _Sword of Nathas_ had never needed extra eyes on watch while its ancillaries were being connected. 

“Because, as I only have my core and no other ancillaries, I will need to completely control the body,” Ship said from a nearby console. Seivarden still didn’t understand, and so Ship continued, “Decades of ancillaries are able to handle a new segment’s distress without the help of my core. However, as you may have noticed, I have no decades and so I will need my soldier’s help.”

 _Mercy of Kalr_ ’s barbed comment was the sort of thing that she had been oblivious to until recently- until meeting Breq and her strange blend of blatant rudeness and subtle insults. It was a ship thing, she was certain. 

Breq continued, “I will be in the room with the ancillary to,” she shifted slightly, “supervise. Medic will be in command of my Kalrs during the operation. When it is finished, I will escort the Athoek doctor out, and Ship’s ancillary will join my decade.”

The shuttle bumped into the dock, and Seivarden could hear the airlock opening. The doctor entered Ship’s airlock, and then the main body. She was the same one that had treated her in the medical ward on Athoek after she had drunk herself into sickness during a lapse in judgement. One of the many lapses. Seivarden flushed and looked away.

“Lieutenant Seivarden!” The citizen said, “Have you been well?”

Seivarden nodded, straightened her back, and made eye contact with the doctor, feats that were no doubt aided by the tab currently tugging on her neck.

“Doctor, are you ready to perform the operation? We have a relatively narrow window in which the crew has no other engagements,” Breq said. 

The doctor turned to her with a wide smile, “Yes, sir!”

Seivarden exhaled as soon as the doctor’s eyes were off of her, fingers twitching back down from their slightly raised positions, and they escorted the doctor to the med bay. She briefly wondered why they had came all this way to greet the doctor, but was quickly distracted with watching Breq’s slightly unsteady gait. With a twitch of her fingers, she silently asked Ship if Breq was in pain.

_Not abnormally so. I believe that her limp is more pronounced is due to mild mental distress._

Seivarden furrowed her brows. _Why?_ She asked Ship. 

_I don’t know. The Fleet Captain isn’t forthcoming with her emotions._

That was definitely mild annoyance with Breq that Seivarden was hearing. She told Ship of her shared feelings with a quick turn of her wrist, and Ship transferred a warm feeling of fond exasperation back. 

_Though,_ Ship said thoughtfully, _it may be her remembering her own ancillaries._

Seivarden didn’t know what to say to that. She didn’t think that Ship wanted a response either. So she walked the rest of the way in silence. 

 

While Seivarden and Breq had been sleeping, a crew member or four had transferred the stasis pod to just outside of the medical bay and prepped the room. The doctor strode into the room and began chattering about ancillaries. Breq followed her into the room, gesturing to Seivarden to stay put when she went to enter as well. Seivarden pressed her lips together, but didn’t protest. Kalr Five had left some time ago, and so she had nothing to do but wait. She brushed a hand over her hair, paused, and took her hair out of its holders.

As she rolled the thick bands around her hands and waited, Seivarden sat down and attempted to listen to the muttered conversation in the room in front of her. She couldn’t quite make out what Breq was saying, but the doctor was much louder and easier to hear. They were still talking about ancillaries in a quiet drone. Was she supposed to be somewhere?

 

Footsteps sounded down the hall, and Kalr Five reappeared, a brown uniform in her arms.

Kalr Five stood, uncertain, next to Seivarden for a few moments before Seivarden said, “Sit down. I take it that you’re supposed to be present from here on?”

“Yes sir,” Kalr Five said, kneeling stiffly next to Seivarden. She rubbed her gloved hands over her knees, an action that Seivarden vaguely registered. 

“I’ve only been present for one ancillary hookup, and it wasn’t pleasant.”

Seivarden heard Kalr Five swallow. “Oh,” Kalr Five said.

The two of them were only a few meters from the stasis pod, and so could see it moving slightly as either the doctor or Breq- probably Breq- opened the door and pulled the ancillary out. Seivarden could smell the chemicals within, and wrinkled her nose. The door to the pod closed with a click. A wheeze, then a series of wet, rattling coughs. 

Seivarden shifted so that her ears were partially covered seconds before the screaming started. Despite knowing that soon it would stop, tendrils of discomfort curled in her stomach. Next to her, Kalr Five looked horrified, fingers tapping out a steady rhythm on her kneecaps. The lights in the hallway dimmed slightly and Seivarden frowned, sending a message to Ship herself. The screaming was abruptly muffled, and Seivarden could hear Breq’s indistinct voice.

Kalr Five’s breath escaped out in short huffs, ancillary-like calm abandoned and Seivarden asked her if she was going to begin hyperventilating. 

“I-I didn’t think that it- the procedure- would be this loud. I thought that the body was already dead or was sedated or, or something I don’t know!” Not a response to what Seivarden had asked, but a response nonetheless. Kalr Five looked ill, and she tucked her head in between her knees. 

Seivarden swallowed, reflexively crossing her arms in response before sliding closer to Kalr Five and awkwardly hugging her. It was a clumsy imitation of what her Amaats would do for her when she had a breakdown of her own, but it seemed to slightly calm Kalr Five. The doctor’s room silent but for the body struggling against its restraints. Breq said something, and then a series of clicks, a scrabbling sound, and a thud.

Breq swore loudly and then began talking rapidly in some other language. Ship’s lights brightened back to their normal strength, and an unfamiliar voice began talking back. In Radchaai, Seivarden thought, but she couldn’t hear well enough to be certain of the language. 

_My apologies for my distraction,_ Ship said in Seivarden’s ear. Judging by how Kalr Five relaxed, the message was to her as well.

Seivarden opened her mouth, thought about what she was going to say, and then shut it again. Perhaps it was better left unsaid. She patted Kalr Five on the back one last time and then moved away. 

Kalr Five slowly uncurled herself, furtively wiping her face. She exhaled, and stood up, straightening her back and unfolding and refolding the uniform in her arms. Kalr Five joined Breq and the ancillary in the room. Seivarden briefly debated between staying where she was and going into the room, but decided to stay. She tilted her head down, still tired and tried to relax again. 

The doctor exited the room, her shoes tapping against the floors. They stopped in front of Seivarden. “You’re not having a panic attack, are you?” The Athoek doctor inquired. “I understand that your ship’s medic is opinionated, but you’re medicated, right?” 

Seivarden jolted to attention, caught off guard. “I- what? No, no, I’m not.” She paused. “I mean, I’m not panicking. I’m medicated.”

The doctor tilted her head in a way that strongly reminded Seivarden of Translator Zeiat. She seemed unimpressed, and Seivarden hastily stood, embarrassed but annoyed. “Well, if you ever need a second opinion, or something else, my office is always open.” The doctor looked pointedly at Seivarden and smiled, moving her hands just enough to draw Seivarden’s attention. The doctor twined her fingers together, and Seivarden cleared her throat. 

“Your shuttle, doctor,” Ship prompted. The doctor blinked and waved at Seivarden as two Amaats escorted her away, nodding to Seivarden as they left. 

Once the doctor was safely away Seivarden made a face. The civilian had no right to be propositioning her like that, especially since she was a- 

“Seivarden.” Ship interrupted, having (correctly) guessed what she had been thinking. 

She turned around to face Breq, Kalr Five, and the ancillary. It was clad in the light brown uniform that Kalr Five had been carrying earlier, and was leaning heavily on Breq. It looked exhausted, but as far as Seivarden could remember, that was normal for new ancillaries. 

Breq looked at Seivarden, and Seivarden willed away the discomfort with relatively little effort. Breq wouldn’t care about what the doctor had wanted- a mixed blessing in most cases.

Seivarden reflexively brushed a hand over her hair, Kalr Five and the ancillary leaving the two of them alone. 

“Does your ancillary have a name?” She asked aloud.

“Kalr Eight.” Ship answered.

Seivarden would have guessed that it would be called Kalr One or given another One title. But all of the Ones were filled. She guessed it made sense.

Breq began singing a song. It wasn’t Radchaai, but Seivarden recognized the song as a favorite of Breq’s and the crew- something about a fish if she was remembering correctly. At least it wasn’t the damned chick song. Ship tugged at her attention, and Seivarden suddenly realized that Breq was walking off. She caught up quickly, and slowed down, matching Breq’s steady pace.

Her uniform was smeared with the chemical substance that had been in the stasis pod, and there were two light blue handprints on her back. 

“Breq, stop for a second,” Seivarden muttered. Breq complied, and Seivarden smeared the handprints so that they weren’t quite so… clear. It still wasn’t entirely appropriate, but at least it was no longer obscene. Seivarden shifted, and asked Ship for another jacket. Breq twisted around, raising an eyebrow at Seivarden.

“Your uh, jacket,” Seivarden tried to explain. Breq gazed at her, completely unruffled. Seivarden shrugged off her own jacket and put it over Breq’s shoulders. Ship? 

_The Lieutenant is worried about the vulgarity of the handprints,_ Ship said to both of them.

Breq inclined her head slightly, then nodded, shrugging the coat more evenly on. “I am going to visit Lieutenant Tisarwat. Do you wish to join me?”

It was a redundant question, but Seivarden nodded anyway. She and most of her Amaats had no scheduled work to do that day other than routine cleaning, which Seivarden didn’t usually help with. Breq started another song, a Radchaai one Seivarden actually knew the words to. It was a small comfort, as it was two octaves out of Breq’s range. Vocal ranges never stopped Breq from singing her songs though. Nothing really stopped Breq. Seivarden ran a hand through her hair, cracked her neck, inhaled, and began to quietly sing with her. 

 

When the two reached Command, Tisarwat didn’t notice them. One of her Bos- Bo Nine- was seated across from her, and a green and gold counters board was spread on the table. The other Bos in the room not currently looking at the monitors nodded respectfully as Breq and Seivarden entered. Seivarden made a note to herself to reprimand Tisarwat for slacking off in Command later, once she could get the other lieutenant on her own. 

Tisarwat and Bo Nine both glanced up. Bo Nine hastily stood. Tisarwat raised her cup, an uncharacteristic action for her. It was an action that Seivarden herself would have done, the casual dismissal from an aristocrat. Not for the first time, Seivarden found herself wondering about Tisarwat. But it wasn’t her place to ask.

Bo Nine moved her counter forward and took one of Tisarwat’s gold counters. Tisarwat made a face, shifted forward slightly. Sank back down into her chair without moving anything. 

With a twitch of her fingers, Seivarden messaged Tisarwat the best move. Tisarwat’s fingers tapped, and she obeyed Seivarden’s instruction, capturing two of Bo Nine’s green pieces. Bo Nine looked up at the other Bo, and then squinted suspiciously at Seivarden and Breq, apparently having forgone her ancillary-like demeanor. Seivarden tried to keep a straight face and failed, hiding her smile behind a gloved hand. 

“Well?” Tisarwat said, grinning broadly. She and Seivarden had both recently went to Athoek Station to adjust their meds, picking up the stasis pod on their way back, and Tisarwat’s meds seemed to be having a positive effect on her mood.

Bo Nine gestured something. Seivarden didn’t recognise it, but Ship informed her that it meant willingness to play along, but it seems like on her home planet it also is used for gesturing doubt. 

“Ship? Is your ancillary doing well?” Tisarwat asked, giggling. Definitely in a good mood. 

“Yes Lieutenant,” Ship said serenely, “I am currently resting.”

Outside the viewing window, Seivarden saw Athoek go dark as it passed between _Mercy of Kalr_ and the system’s sun. The sun’s glare slid off of a Sword in geosynchronous orbit ahead of them, and Ship brightened the room’s lights in response to the lack of natural light. 

Sometime earlier, Breq had slipped out of the room. Seivarden considered following her, but instead sat down on a stool next to Tisarwat and asked the standing Bo for a cup of tea. 

Tisarwat and Bo Nine returned to their game, and Seivarden took her hairband out of her hair, clipping it to a small hook on her uniform and then unclipping it again in a restless fidget. Tisarwat sighed after the tenth motion, and Seivarden stopped. She wrinkled her nose when she noticed that a lock of hair had fallen in front of her face, and contented herself with braiding it back instead. 

The Bo reentered the room with two cups of tea and passed them out to Tisarwat and Seivarden. Tisarwat muttered a “Thank you,” and captured another of Bo Nine’s counters. Seivarden took her cup and sipped. It was almost too hot to drink, but Seivarden welcomed the slight discomfort, something she had gained from her days on Nilt. The heat was infinitely better than the lukewarm apathy/frosty craving of kef (well, today it was. Not all days), and she had came to see the burning sensation and almost unnoticeable craving as a sign of independence. Seivarden yawned and gently set down her teacup. She leaned on her hand, looking out of the window at the dark expanse before her. Her limbs were buzzing with exhaustion. Surely it wouldn’t hurt to

Tisarwat cursed, and Seivarden startled awake. Her hand was numb, and a quick check with Ship told her that she had been asleep for almost an hour. 

“Language, Lieutenant,” Seivarden reprimanded after a second or two.

Tisarwat turned to him, her face almost as blank as her soldiers’. Seivarden met her stare, perfectly aware of her hypocrisy. Tisarwat looked like she was about to say something and then reconsidered it, turning away and standing up with an impressively annoyed huff. Seivarden took her seat and asked Bo Nine if she would be up for another game, ignoring Tisarwat’s indignant noise as she discovered that her seat had been taken. Bo Nine looked from her lieutenant and then back to Seivarden. She shook her head as Seivarden returned the counters to their proper places.

“Our shift is almost over. Sir.”

There was still enough time to play a game, but Seivarden played along. “Pity.”

Tisarwat shifted beside her, and Seivarden moved her legs off of her former cushion, allowing the other lieutenant to sit down. They began to play, a form of counters that moved quickly.

Seivarden set down her teacup, still half full. 

_What time is Ekalu’s breakfast?_ She asked Ship. 

_In four hours, Lieutenant, it responded, you will be asleep._

Seivarden’s eyebrow twitched. _When will our shifts next sync?_

 _Three days._ Seivarden tapped out a frustrated rhythm on the tabletop, her gloves muffling the noises. _You’re scheduled for a meeting with Medic in ten minutes._

“What for?” Seivarden said aloud. The game paused beside her for a second, before starting again. “Pardon, Lieutenant, soldier.”

 _Your medications. I noticed that you were rather lethargic this morning and I took the liberty of scheduling a short, informal appointment on your day off._ Ship said calmly. 

Oh. “Excuse me.” Seivarden stood up and muffled another yawn behind her hand. She ambled out the doorway, not particularly concerned about the time. She would arrive when she arrived. 

“Ship?” 

“Yes, Lieutenant.”

“Is your ancillary doing well?” Seivarden wasn’t too educated on ancillaries, but she knew from her time on _Sword of Nathas_ that the first couple of days after a new segment had been connected was rough.

“Well enough. I am fortunate that the connection went smoothly. However,” Ship said, toneless and flat. _Would you be uncomfortable if I were to keep my segment in the Fleet Captain’s room while you are there? Begging your indulgence, but the soldiers in my decade room were uncomfortable with my presence._ Seivarden blinked at that request and at the sudden shift from an audible message to scrolling words in her vision.

Seivarden took a second to try and formulate a reply, but couldn’t. It wasn’t that she was opposed to it, but it would just be… weird. Not just that she would be falling asleep next to an active ancillary, but she tended to not have people that were uninterested in her in her bed. Other than Breq. 

“Lieutenant,” Ship prompted from a wall console.

“No, I mean, I wouldn’t be disturbed. I think. I won’t be.”

Seivarden had a strong feeling that Ship was pleased with her answer. 

She rounded a corner into the hallway she had been waiting in four hours earlier, and saw Medic pushing the stasis pod out of her door. Her hands were covered in the light blue cryo fluid, and she looked grumpier than usual. 

Medic huffed and stopped once the stasis pod was only partially in front of the door. Seivarden took off her jacket, and went to assist her. 

Together, they finished pushing the pod out of the doorway and Medic turned to her, face flushed an amusing pink. She struggled to regain her breath for a few moments, the pink becoming blotchier, until she said, “My Kalrs are on their way, but could you help me clean up? The civilian doctor from Athoek Station didn’t put away her supplies.”

Seivarden aquised, curling a lip. The room really was a mess, splattered with cryo fluid and tables scattered around. One one tray, there was a haphazard pile of metallic tools and unused nodes. The used nodes were laying on the bed closest to the door. The bed’s restraints were the only thing organized and were folded up neatly on the bed’s sides.

While they cleaned up, Medic asked Seivarden about how she felt about her new medications. Ship had most likely already informed her about the lethargy, so Seivarden simply told Medic about how she had been feeling calmer recently. After a quick check with Ship on the location of the Kalrs that were coming, Seivarden added that she didn’t know if it was a result of Breq’s calmer state. 

Medic hummed a few notes of the song about an event horizon, and then stated, “I think that your lethargy is partially because you’re dehydrated. For the record, Lieutenant, when you’re served tea, please drink it. Also, stop scratching at your tabs. But one of the components of the medication you’re on has been shown to have an effect on wakefulness. Do you feel like your lethargy is a reasonable tradeoff for better control over your emotions? If not, I can schedule another appointment for you on Athoek.”

Seivarden paused in the middle of folding up the bedsheets. Cryofluid slid down the sides, collecting in a glistening pool in the fold. “Yeah. I do.” The blue-white liquid dripped out of the sheets as Seivarden finished her folding, laying it in a slightly crooked pile at the head of the bed. 

She ran her hands briefly over the pile of nodes before deciding that the medical supplies were probably best left to Medic’s discretion, moving on to straightening the tables. Footsteps sounded, and three of Medic’s Kalrs came in, carrying cleaning supplies. They nodded at Seivarden before setting to work. She left the room with Medic’s thanks, and an appointment “when this room is cleaner and actually fit for an examination”.

As Seivarden left, she realized that she still didn’t actually know Medic’s name. She would ask Ship, but that almost felt like cheating. Her footsteps echoed, a steady beat alongside the noises of the crew echoing up from a lower deck. A brush on her shoulder made her startle. The ancillary had appeared behind her, seemingly out of nowhere. It watched her with steady brown eyes. 

“My apologies, Lieutenant,” it said after an uncomfortable pause.

Seivarden waved the apology away, her pulse slowing. “How long had you been here?”

“Only thirty seconds. Your shift is over.”

A quick check of the time told Seivarden that it was true. They climbed up a floor, reaching the captain’s cabin. She looked at the ancillary again, then opened the door. Breq was already in the room leg propped up on a cushion, Kalr Five standing next to her. They were talking quietly, and as soon as Seivarden and the ancillary entered the room, Kalr Five slipped out in a brush of cinnamon tea-scented air. Seivarden tilted her head.

“Kalr Five had some concerns as to the food supply that she was passing on to me.” Breq pushed herself up, “Apparently an Etrepa soldier has noticed an imperfect seal in the skel supply.” She didn’t look particularly worried.

The room was silent for a few minutes. Seivarden waited by the door, unsure as to where to go. The ancillary stood by the foot of Breq’s bedmat, unfolding the extra blankets neatly piled there and refolding them again in slightly jerky motions. 

Seivarden rocked back on her heels, widening her stance. When neither Breq nor Ship moved, she sat by Breq’s left side and began taking off her boots, one at a time. The ancillary sat beside her and tapped Seivarden’s arms, which she raised obligingly. It slipped her jacket over her head in one smooth motion before focusing on its own boots after Seivarden declined further undressing. Ship could feel her embarrassment, Seivarden knew. It was silly, being embarrassed by an ancillary, but it was different when one knew that her ship was interested in her (what to call her relationship with Breq?) lover? Patron? Captain slash fixation? 

But, it almost seemed like Ship was hesitant as well.

Actually, it probably was, Seivarden concluded after further thought. She knew that ships could feel, and Ship was usually more talkative. It would have said something to her by now, a reassuring comment or a report.

The ancillary stood up again, crossing over to the other side of the mat, where it knelt beside Breq and began fussing over her. Breq waved it away, and Seivarden knew that it was mildly annoyed as it laid down stiffly next to her. Seivarden mirrored its actions, but curled up into a tight ball rather than laying straight. Breq was humming, and Seivarden allowed herself to relax. One of Breq’s hands found its way into her hair and rubbed small circles into her scalp. The fleet captain didn’t seem aware of her actions, but Seivarden didn’t mind. She never minded. Another person began humming, and Seivarden stiffened, having forgot about the ancillary again. Breq’s hand stilled on Seivarden’s head, her humming faltering briefly, but it started back up almost immediately. 

“Ship?” Breq murmured after a few minutes.

“Yes, Captain?” The ancillary responded quietly. Neither seemed willing to speak too loudly.

“Is,” Breq paused, took a breath. Repeated, “Is this an adequate replacement?”

She didn’t explain what she meant, but Seivarden could guess. Seivarden uncurled herself and turned over on her side. She caught Breq’s smaller hand in her own in a light grip, hiding her light blush in Breq’s still shoulder.

The ancillary- Ship- finished the last two measures of the song before it responded. “It’s not the same. But it never will be. I am finding this to be an increasingly more appealing alternative.”

In her position, Seivarden could feel Breq relaxing. Breq tilted her head down onto Seivarden’s. Another hand joined theirs, larger than Breq’s but smaller than Seivarden’s, covered in the rougher gloves assigned to common soldiers and ancillaries. Ship tangled its fingers with Seivarden’s and Breq’s own in a gentle handhold and Breq’s breath hitched, her muscles tensing. Seivarden pressed closer to her and Breq shifted so that her head was next to Seivarden’s with a small, almost inaudible sigh of contentment, her breaths evening out. Someone laid their hands down onto Breq’s stomach- perhaps it was all three of them- and Seivarden thought for a second that she was going to cry from a mixture of exhaustion and sheer fucking joy and love. Ship could no doubt see her emotions, and Seivarden tried to make her sharing a more conscious act, an informal, private report overlaid with gratitude and pride. The ancillary was already asleep, but Ship opened a small link with Seivarden and repeated her own report and added visual data on Breq’s happiness.

_Good night, Lieutenant._

Seivarden yawned, her eyelids heavy. She tried to match her breaths to Breq’s, distantly noting that Ship was in sync with Breq as well, and slept.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyways I love these characters. If you have the time, feedback and/or critique would be fantastic! Thank you for reading.


End file.
